Laughter is truly the best medicine, and what better way to tickle your funny bone than with a collection of 100 side-splitting jokes in Roman Urdu? Whether you’re in need of a good chuckle or want to share a hearty laugh with friends and family, these jokes are sure to leave you in stitches.
From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes cover a range of humorous scenarios that are relatable to people from all walks of life. We’ve compiled an assortment of jokes that touch on everyday situations, relationships, work-life, and more, all presented in the delightful charm of Roman Urdu.
So, get ready to embark on a journey of laughter as we present to you our handpicked selection of jokes that will brighten your day, lighten your mood, and remind you that sometimes, all it takes is a good joke to turn your day around. Let the laughter begin!
Ek dafa ka zikar hai, aik chor bhagte waqt uska mobile gir gaya. Chor ne mobile uthaya aur socha, “Bhai, chalo ab mera mobile number bhi mil gaya!”
Teacher: “Bachon, agar main 2 apples aur 3 apples mila kar doon toh kitne milenge?” Student: “Mam, apple juice!”
Santa: “Tujhe pata hai, maine naya ‘karate’ course join kiya hai.” Banta: “Wah, karate! Toh kya tu ab ‘kal karate’ karega?”
Interviewer: “Aapke qualifications mein kya hai?” Candidate: “Sir, maine ek baar Google par ‘how to crack an interview’ search kiya tha.”
Wife: “Tum itne dino se office kyun nahi gaye?” Husband: “Office wale bhi kaafi samay se mujhse yahi pooch rahe hain.”
Doctor: “Tumhein roz raat ko 8 ghante ki neend chahiye.” Patient: “Doctor Sahab, mujhe toh 2 ghante mein hi neend aa jati hai, baki 6 ghante toh aapke posters dekhne mein hi guzar jate hain.”
Santa: “Yaar, maine suna hai ki insaan din mein sirf 3 ghante kaam kar paata hai.” Banta: “Haan, lekin woh bhi ek ghante lunch break mein.”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tum mujhe kabhi kyun nahi kehte ke tum mujhse kitni mohabbat karte ho?” Shohar: “Main kehta hoon, lekin tu bewajah khush hoti hai, isliye main khamosh rehta hoon.”
Patient: “Doctor Sahab, mujhe ajeeb si bimari hai, mein subah se saans nahi le pa raha.” Doctor: “Aray, tum aaj toh saans bhi lo, kal office ja kar le lena.”
Santa: “Yaar, maine suna hai ki insaan din mein sirf 3 ghante kaam kar paata hai.” Banta: “Haan, lekin woh bhi ek ghante lunch break mein.”
Pathan: “Mujhe aik glass doodh do.” Waiter: “Plain doodh ya bina doodh wala?” Pathan: “Bina doodh wala, mujhe calories nahi chahiye!”
Biwi: “Tum itne bade ho gaye ho, lekin aaj bhi apne mummy ke saath sote ho.” Husband: “Haan, lekin sivaye mummy ke koi mera khana nahi banata.”
Teacher: “Agar tumhara beta cheating kare toh kya karoge?” Santa: “Main usse dusra subject padhne ko keh doonga.”
Patient: “Doctor Sahab, mujhe lagta hai ki mujhe ‘memory loss’ ho gaya hai.” Doctor: “Kab se lag raha hai?” Patient: “Kab se kya lag raha hai?”
Santa: “Yaar, mere dost ne mujhse 2000 rupees udhaar maange hain, kya karu?” Banta: “Usse 2000 ke badle 20,000 udhaar maang lo.”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumne toh mujhe asmaan pe le jaane ka wada kiya tha.”
Shohar: “Haan, toh maine toh tumhein plane se uda kar yahaan le aaya na!”
Santa: “Yaar, mere paas aik acha joke hai.” Banta: “Chal, suna.” Santa: “Aray, maine bhool gaya!”
Santa: “Tere kutte ne meri girlfriend ko kaat liya!” Banta: “Usko toh maine pehle hi keh diya tha, tujhe kutta pasand hai.”
Pathan ne apne dost se kaha: “Yaar, maine apni girlfriend ko date pe leke gaya aur usne mujhse kaha ke woh burger khana chahti hai.”
Dost: “Toh tune kya kiya?”
Santa: “Maine suna hai ki tujhe pichle mahine dhamki mili thi. Kya hua?” Banta: “Haan, woh dhamki thi ki mujhe dobara hasi aaye toh main police ko call karunga.”
Ek admi apne dosto se kehta hai: “Meri biwi mujhse bahut pyaar karti hai, har din subah mujhe naye jootay dene aati hai.” Dost: “Wah, woh kaise?” Admi: “Haan, lekin jab woh mujhe unke pehnne ke liye kehti hai, toh main usse woh joota wapas de deta hoon.”
anta: “Mujhe ek aisi ladki chahiye jo sundar ho, samajhdar ho, aur ghar parivaar ko samjhe.”
Banta: “Santa bhai, woh toh chidiya hoti hai.”
Teacher: “Bachon, aap sab se ek sawal – ek aadmi ne 5 rupaye diye, aur uske paas bas 1 rupaya tha. Usne kaise diye?” Student: “Usne bus conductor ko diye.”
Pathan: “Yaar, maine kuch din tak ek kilo mutton kyun nahi khaya?” Dost: “Kyun?” Pathan: “Kyun ki doctor ne mujhe ek kilo kamzor ho jane ki salahiyat di hai.”
Biwi apne shohar se kehti hai: “Tum itne bhoolakkar kyun ho?” Shohar: “Main hi bhool jaoon toh behtar hai, kam se kam main khush rehta hoon.”
Santa: “Mujhe apne dost ki kahani sunani hai, woh 10 din se jungle mein akela tha aur kuch khana peena nahi mila.” Banta: “Toh phir?” Santa: “Usne jungle mein hi ek hotel khol liya!”
Santa: “Yaar, maine khwab mein ek chand sa makan dekha, ab main kya samjhoon?” Banta: “Santa bhai, woh ek sapna tha, chand mein toh aaj bhi bijli nahi milti.”
Ek ladka apne dost se kehta hai: “Meri girlfriend itni samajhdar hai ki woh toffee bhi nahi khaati.”
Dost: “Achha, woh kyun?”
Ladka: “Kyun ki usko pata hai ki woh melt ho jayegi!”
Santa: “Mujhe ek aisi girlfriend chahiye jo mere har sawal ka jawab ‘haan’ se de.”
Banta: “Toh tu use shadi kar le, biwi hi toh woh hoti hai!”
Pathan: “Yaar, mujhe ek aisi bike chahiye jo helicopter se udhne wali ho.” Dost: “Pathan bhai, helicopter hi kyun nahi le lete?”
Santa: “Mujhe 20 rupaye udhaar chahiye.” Banta: “Maine toh tujhe pehle hi 50 rupaye udhaar diye thay.” Santa: “Haan, lekin aaj maine kisi aur se udhaar liye hain.”
Teacher: “Tumne apna homework kyun nahi kiya?”
Student: “Mam, maine socha aap hi mujhe teach kar dengi.”
Santa: “Tujhe pata hai, mujhe nayi job mili hai.”
Banta: “Sach? Kahaan?”
Santa: “Email ke attachment mein.”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumne aaj tak mujhe ek bhi surprise gift nahi diya.”
Shohar: “Surprise toh main hi hoon!”
Ek aadmi ne apne dost se kaha: “Meri biwi itni gussail hai, jab woh gussa hoti hai, toh cheeni cheeni chup chup kar roti hai.” Dost: “Toh phir kya hua?” Aadmi: “Maine usko pichle mahine chini se mila diya tha.”
Santa: “Mujhe aaj tak samajh nahi aaya, ladkiyon ko shopping mein itna shauk kyun hota hai?” Banta: “Aray, woh tabhi toh shopping karti hain jab unke paas paise ho.”
Teacher: “Bachon, zindagi mein safalta paane ke liye mehnat karni chahiye.”
Santa: “Mam, agar mehnat se hi safalta milti hai toh kisan kab se amir hote?”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumne mujhe kitne cute kaha hai, lekin aaj tak mujhe ek rose nahi diya.”
Shohar: “Maine kaha tha ‘kute,’ rose kaha se aayenge?”
Santa: “Mujhe aaj tak samajh nahi aaya, Facebook par ‘like’ karne se kya milta hai?”
Banta: “Santa bhai, woh hi toh sabko samajh nahi aata.”
Santa: “Tujhe pata hai, maine ek naya business start kiya hai – oxygen cylinder rental ka.”
Banta: “Wah, lekin yeh kyun?”
Santa: “Isse mujhe har kisi se lambi saans leni padegi.”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumhara phone lagatar kyun busy rehta hai?” Shohar: “Main khud hi apne dosto ko samjhata hoon, kyun ki unko samajh nahi aata.”
Santa: “Mujhe aaj tak nahi samajh aaya, Bill Gates itne amir kaise ho gaye?”
Banta: “Santa bhai, woh apne Windows ko har baar crash hone se bachane ke liye charge karte hain.”
Pathan: “Yaar, maine apni girlfriend ko gift dena hai, lekin paise nahi hain.”
Dost: “Tum kuch khud bana do, woh samjhegi.”
Pathan: “Achha, toh main usko khud ko gift kar doon?”
Santa: “Mujhe aaj tak nahi samajh aaya, ladkiyon ko shopping mein itni shauk kyun hota hai?”
Banta: “Santa bhai, woh tabhi toh shopping karti hain jab unke paas paise ho.”
Teacher: “Bachon, zindagi mein safalta paane ke liye mehnat karni chahiye.”
Santa: “Mam, agar mehnat se hi safalta milti hai toh kisan kab se amir hote?”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumne mujhe kitne cute kaha hai, lekin aaj tak mujhe ek rose nahi diya.”
Shohar: “Maine kaha tha ‘kute,’ rose kaha se aayenge?”
Santa: “Tujhe pata hai, maine ek naya business start kiya hai – oxygen cylinder rental ka.”
Banta: “Wah, lekin yeh kyun?”
Santa: “Isse mujhe har kisi se lambi saans leni padegi.”
Biwi apne shohar se: “Tumhara phone lagatar kyun busy rehta hai?”
Shohar: “Main khud hi apne dosto ko samjhata hoon, kyun ki unko samajh nahi aata.”
Santa: “Mujhe aaj tak nahi samajh aaya, Bill Gates itne amir kaise ho gaye?”
Banta: “Santa bhai, woh apne Windows ko har baar crash hone se bachane ke liye charge karte hain.”
Pathan: “Yaar, maine apni girlfriend ko gift dena hai, lekin paise nahi hain.”
Dost: “Tum kuch khud bana do, woh samjhegi.”
Pathan: “Achha, toh main usko khud ko gift kar doon?”
